Which of These Two Fatal Lies
do you tell yourself?
All of us create our own daily suffering by telling ourselves one of Two Lies related to Speaking Your Truth.
Now ask yourself:
Which one of the Two Fatal Lies do you most tell yourself? –
Causing A Life of Quiet Desperation
Lie #1 can be summed up by the beliefs:
“If I say something, it will just make it worse.”
“If I say something, I’ll rock the boat.”
“I should keep peace at all costs.”
If you too have bought into this destructive belief system, you believe that if you just keep quiet, things will somehow work out on their own.
The following words consciously or subconsciously have become your anthem:
“Don’t stir the hornet’s nest.”
“Just let sleeping dogs lie.”
“Don’t make waves.”
Over time, these quiet but dangerous niceties evolve into a subtle, unacknowledged, and yet simmering discontent —
With the life you may be settling for . . .
With your significant other’s inability to completely meet your needs . . .
With your parents for somehow wounding you . . .
And with yourself for not living up to your potential.
You may also in some subtle way feel victimized . . .
in your relationships . . .
in your job . . .
by the government . . .
by the system.
Listen to Erin describe how,
If you are among the majority of the population who have bought into this idea of Not Making Waves and Not Stirring the Hornet’s Nest, you may still have a good job, financial security, and even have a reasonably good family life.
But somehow, you feel you are
Living a lie . . .
A life of mediocrity . . .
That you have settled for second best in your personal
and professional relationships . . .
Or even with your dreams.
No matter how much you smile and how well you hide this discontent from everyone else . . . you can’t hide it from yourself.
Your life is on slow simmer.
And this is why you’re silently suffering.
Hear Sherry describe how before The 5 Phases Masterclass,
Causing A Life of Burned Relationships
Lie #2 is the opposite of Lie #1.
Paradoxically, it still leads to the same silent suffering.
The Myth of the Straight Shooter
Lie #2 is that being a straight shooter is a good thing.
And what perpetuates this lie is the confusing fact that, it is good to express your thoughts and feelings.
And, as indicated by Sherry in the video above, sometimes the most appropriate thing is just to Hit The Nail on The Head.
But just like anything good — whether we’re talking about ice cream, chocolate, romance, sex or hard work, there is a perilous downside —
Too much of any good thing not only becomes addictive, it becomes destructive.
Most of us won’t soon forget the My Way or The Highway gridlock that occurred with our government’s leaders that resulted in the government shutting down for nearly 5 weeks in January 2019.
Exactly as we see happened in our country, being a proud take-it-or-leave-it straight-shooter leads to confrontation, conflict and continual frustration and resentment.
While we admire the person who steps forward and Tells It Like It Is, have you ever worked with or lived with someone who is this type of straight-shooter?
Your tendency with such people is to shoot straight back.
Listen to Charles describe how this blunt,
Niggling, Nagging and Nitpicking
In our personal relationships, we call such straight shooting niggling, nagging and nitpicking.
And it’s simply no fun living with someone who niggles, nags or nitpicks!
Such dynamics usually end in either an unhappy and tension-filled relationship or . . .
In business relationships, one word we use for such continual straight-shooting is micro-managing.
If you are a habitual straight-shooter, you have subconsciously bought into the philosophy that it is more important to be right than to be happy.
Watch this brief lesson
You may get others to back down, making you think you are right. But you will never experience true happiness or fulfillment in a relationship.
The reason is that, given 7.5 billion people on the planet, there are virtually 7.5 billion ways of viewing anything!
Countless factors give each of us a different context . . . a different shade . . . a different perspective when viewing and responding to anything.
These factors include:
The country, region and even neighborhood you grew up in
The language you speak
How your parents raised you
How passive or strong your parents were
Who your friends were and who they are now
Your educational level and focus
Your career path
Your socio-economic class
The challenges you have been through
The losses you have suffered
The ease or struggle you went through with your finances
Listen to Curtis describe how a Phase 1 breathing technique enables him
The reason we react defensively to a different perspective than ours is a result of the 100 billion neurons in our brains.
There is a near infinite number of different meanings each of us perceive from the same experience.
That’s to say, we all have an endless array of personal filters through which we view the world differently than the way anyone else does.
Image from Module 10
In the video below from Module ___ The 5 Phases of Speaking Your Truth Masterclass,
Listen to Bob describe how practicing The 5 Phases of Speaking Your Truth exercises
Damned if You Do,
Damned if You Don’t
Thoreau memorably stated, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”
And indeed, whether you tend to live by Lie #1 or Lie #2, your relationships are adversely affected as a result.
It seems you are damned if you do speak your truth, and damned if you don’t.
What can the solution possibly be to more harmonious business and personal relationships?
Below, hear this gently lady who I
Is there an answer?
Take heart. Yes! There is an answer. . .
one that will transform every part of your life.
The solution resides in a phased approach. And you can use this phased approach in literally all situations where there’s any possibility of friction.
Interestingly enough, this phased approach is neither passive (Letting Sleeping Dogs Lie) nor aggressive (Telling The Way It Is).
It’s not even assertive, as assertiveness tends to be just another form of Telling The Way It Is.
The most beautiful thing about the phased approach is it requires zero force, it creates zero friction and causes zero discord.
Using this phased approach, the other person naturally – with zero resistance – falls back into alignment with you.
And, most amazingly, they come back into harmony with you without them even knowing it!
Each of The 5 Phases moves the other person and you so gently and so incrementally in the direction of greater harmony, that it doesn’t appear you – or they – have done a thing!
Hear Steve describe how
The 5 Phases work like
the hour hand of a clock
Whereas the second hand moves continuously, the hour hand doesn’t appear to move at all.
And yet the hour hand is the more important indicator of change.
In fact, a clock can indicate time perfectly well without a second or even a minute hand. And yet it’s the hour hand that moves invisibly versus the much more eye-catching motion of the second hand.
The 5 Phases works similarly . . .
unnoticed yet inevitably creating change.
In the video below from Module ___ of the Masterclass,
The 5 Phases work with deep neurological reflexes and corresponding spiritual principles alive in every human being.
An example of one of the multiple neurological phenomena you will become a master at employing beginning with Module 1 of the Masterclass is understanding the phenomenon of Mirror Neurons.
Mirror Neurons provide a neurological response system that causes other people to subconsciously mimic our behavior. From the most simplistic level, you see this everyday:
You smile, others smile back.
You frown, others frown back.
You say hello, others automatically say hello back.
In the following video from the Masterclass, Michael explains
On a non-verbal and less apparent level:
When you trust others, they tend to trust you back.
When you are distrustful of others, they tend to be distrustful of you.
When you radiate quiet confidence, others tend to feel more confident about you . . . and even about themselves.
In the following video from the Masterclass, Michael explains
Hear Sherry describe how people in her life mirror back to her
Softening Difficult People
The 5 Phases of Speaking Your Truth work so effectively by allowing you to align with the deepest nature of other people.
The 5 Phases even allow you to align with difficult people.
These individuals, while appearing to be combative and argumentative, on the deepest level, they want to find greater harmony with you. Even more, they want to experience greater harmony inside their own selves.
Listen to Erin describe how the Masterclass
And listen to Curtis share how the Masterclass
As Curtis and Erin learned, there’s a great paradox coming back into harmony with difficult people —
If you seem like you are trying to get someone who is difficult to align with you, they will usually resist.
The reason is, no one likes to feel like they are being handled . . .
especially someone who is oppositional.
Despite how advanced and effective many negotiation, sales, and communication techniques may be, these strategies still can make the other person feel like they are being handled.
In this brief lesson from the Masterclass, one of our students
Rather than making someone feel “handled”, The 5 Phases employ five simple strategies that create zero resistance in the other person, as Sherry, Charles and Bob share here:
“This is about how to Speak Your Truth . . .
“When you get where another person is coming from,
“It’s a simple technique and it’s effective,
The 5 Phases of Speaking Your Truth
The 5 Phases are:
1 Holding the Space
2 Speaking the Other’s Truth First
3 Allowing the Other to Speak Your Truth
4 Asking Questions of Grace
5 Hitting the Nail on the Head
Each of these 5 Phases have anywhere from 3 to 10 variations, and even more fine points.
Beginning with Module 1 of the workshop, you will begin mastering these powerful nuances and . . .
you will begin to become an expert at knowing which of the many variations of each Phase to use in a particular situation.
Employing The 5 Phases will enable you to shift any type of tension, discord, or conflict in your relationships into an automatic self-aligning harmony and congruence.
Hear Steve share how the Masterclass has super-charged both his
A Huge “But”
All that said, there is a huge ‘But.”
And that is that The 5 Phases take practice.
From Module 1 of the Masterclass onward, you will begin creating major leaps in your relationships.
BUT . . .
. . . without understanding and practicing the beautiful and all-important variations of how to effectively employ each Phase, your ability and success with The 5 Phases will only reach a certain level.
This means —
without understanding and practicing the many subtleties of The 5 Phases – which we do in depth in each module – you may run into a brick wall in a number of trickier situations.
Listen to Bob share a bad habit that you may have as well. It took
Holding the Space
Holding the Space provides the entire foundation for all the other 4 Phases of Speaking Your Truth.
It is the technique you will find yourself using more than any other.
Yet as simple as it is, it is the most difficult technique to make a reflex when you are in a potential conflict or when you feel the need to set a boundary.
Curtis describes how the Phase 1 techniques
Our first job to effectively Speak Our Truth and to get what we need, is to overcome our lifetime of reactivity –
our automatic Fight or Flight response that makes us want to either attack or go into hiding.
In the first 3 modules of the Masterclass, we practice over and over again 3 extremely simple techniques that allow you to effortlessly Hold the Space.
Listen to Charles describe the power you will have
Once you get adept at the 3 simple breathing techniques of Holding the Space, you often will never have to utter a word to head off an argument.
You will automatically get the other person to let go of whatever they are holding onto.
Thus, the entire relationship with that person with whom you may otherwise be in conflict will naturally shift to one of cooperation, collaboration and congeniality.
Listen to Steve share his experiences of exactly this type of
Listen to Bob share his experiences of how
Speak The Other’s Truth
There are 7 simple techniques of Phase 2, Speaking the Other’s Truth. These include agreeing, validating and using humor. (INSERT Guess Whose Coming to Dinner?)
Hear Charles and Bob share how revolutionary these simple Phase 2 techniques of Speaking the Other’s Truth have been to their relationships:
“When you get where another person is coming from
“Since I’m Speaking Their Truth more,
Allow Them to Speak Your Truth
Phase 3 of Allowing the Other to Speak Your Truth creates the most magical and gratifying result in the entire Speaking Your Truth process.
This is that unforgettable moment you have been waiting for –
when the other person you may have been at odds with finally Speaks Your Truth For You!
This often comes in the form of a sincere apology —
Watch Anderson Cooper report about Virginia Governor Ralph Northam.
The Phase 3 techniques you will learn in the Masterclass are actually used while you are talking!
This is as opposed to the Phase 1 breathing techniques, which you use while listening.
Hear Susanna and Bob talk about these extraordinary harmony-producing Phase 3 techniques:
“It allowed me to focus on the other person,
Questions of Grace
Asking Questions of Grace rather than making blunt, assumptive statements, is one of the most common ways to Speak Your Truth more gracefully and get the other person to automatically align with you.
Listen to Sherry and Bob share how the 4 types of Questions you will learn in Module 9 of the Masterclass helped them to head off arguments and improve all their relationships.
” I like that we’re taught to ask permission –
“Asking Questions of Grace . . .
Asking these Questions are so natural, when Susanna now uses one of the 4 types of Questions of Grace with me, I never even realize it!
And I’m the guy who created this Masterclass!
Hitting the Nail on the Head
Only in approximately 5% of the circumstances will you ever need to engage one of the resistance-free techniques you will learn for Hitting the Nail on the Head.
Approximately 95% of the time your issue with another person will be resolved after you use Phase 1, 2, 3 or 4.
Yet the ironic thing is, most people unfamiliar with The 5 Phases, speak their truth solely using a confrontational Hitting the Nail on the Head tone.
We have many expressions for this:
Telling the way it is
Being a straight-shooter
Laying it on the line
Telling another to take it or leave it
Watch this brief clip from the Masterclass
The problem with straight-shooting, is the other person tends to mirror you . . .
Meaning, they want to shoot straight back!
And all that results is a shooting war.
Unfortunately, most people not familiar with The 5 Phases perceive Hitting the Nail on the Head as this very type of blunt and confrontational act.
In contrast, using The 5 Phases, the other person becomes far more open and receptive if Hitting the Nail on the Head becomes necessary.
This results in a much happier outcome where everyone’s needs are met.
Listen to Sherry’s touching story of how the graceful Hitting the Nail on the Head
The Fight or Flight Reflex
The need for practice and becoming good at the refinements of The 5 Phases is due to the well-known Fight or Flight Reflex.
As soon as you trigger this primitive biological response system in yourself or another, it’s all over.
There is no chance at that time of creating harmony with that person . . . and possibly for a long while afterward.
This is why the majority of the population buys into Lie #1 of Not Making Waves.
Yet, what if there was a way to avoid tripping this fatal Fight or Flight booby trap?
In the following segment from Module 2 of the Masterclass,
Listen to Bob share how the exercises in the Masterclass
Showing versus Telling
Showing versus Telling is one of the many fine points of Phase 5 of Speaking Your Truth that you will begin to master in the course.
Telling something to someone with whom you are trying to avoid conflict gets their Fight or Flight juices flowing and it gives them a hook to argue with you.
In contrast, showing them leaves nothing for them to argue about.
And rather than resisting, they naturally align with you.
The Big Deal and The Big Fight
Lori Grenier’s ingenius
The Million Dollar Result!
Selling Your Home
If you are selling your home and a potential buyer is trying to knock your price down, here’s what smart sellers and real estate agents do –
Rather than expending energy arguing and attempting to justify your price, simply provide the potential buyer with comparables of previous home sales in the area.
If you have set a fair price based on such comparables, the argument with the other party will come to a quick end without you having to do a thing more.
Show comparables of when I sold my home
I use this same Show versus Tell concept when selling nearly anything.
For example, I own more than 100 domain names and I am occasionally approached about selling one. In most cases, the potential buyer starts off with a very lowball offer.
Watch in the brief lesson below from Module 10 of the Masterclass how I have sold many domains names for thousands of dollars with zero dickering back and forth.
Effective Boundary Setting
The same Showing versus Telling works magnificently with setting any kind of relationship boundary.
This includes fine points for knowing how to effectively set the boundaries of your comfort levels with your:
Even with your Boss!
Listen to Bob share his experiences on how
You Will Use The 5 Phases
Every single day and with every person in your life, you will find yourself using The 5 Phases and their many variations, each brimming with an atomic power all their own.
Listen to Erin, Charles and Steve describe
“Anytime we can increase our communications skills
“Techniques you will be able to use
The Benefit of
taking the Masterclass together —
If you are married or have a significant other, the Masterclass not only can save your relationship . . .
it will make a good relationship a great one.
By providing the tools for you to eliminate simmering resentments and arguments with one another —
the very thing that slowly erodes even the best relationships —
together you will create a fertile field for sustained love, harmony and mutual sharing.
Listen to Bob describe the benefits he had
From the comfort of your own home, the Masterclass is designed to give you expertise from the first day onward in using The 5 Phases to head off arguments and restore harmony at home and in work.
1 to 5 minute
Self Study Segments
Each of the 10 modules is broken down into easily digestible nuggets of approximately 1 to 5 minutes each . . .
just as you have experienced in the mini-course on this page.
Sitting in your favorite chair, recliner or bed, you will go through the easy-to-absorb pre-recorded online Masterclass modules at your own pace.
And you will have the course available to review over and over again for years to come!
Movie and Television Clips!!!
Learning The 5 Phases will literally be as fun and easy as going to the movies!
Hundreds of the lessons contain a short movie, television or news clip to make the techniques you are learning come alive.
Following Fair Use legal standards on using such clips, I spent nearly a year editing the original live course.
The time was largely spent combing through thousands of movies, TV and news clips, finding which best illustrated The 5 Phases concept you are learning in each 1 to 5 minute segment.
Watch this lesson with Michael from Module 1.
90 Minutes per week
LIVE WITH MICHAEL
Each week, you will get together with me on a group video conference for 90 minutes.
If you miss a conference, no concern!
It will be recorded for you to see at your convenience.
“The way that he interacts and the way that he teaches
“Michael is a great teacher!”
The 4 Ingredients
of each LIVE conference
Each live conference will consist of:
QUESTIONS & ANSWERS – You will be able to ask and have all your questions answered regarding what you’ve been discovering in the online home-study portion of the course.
EXERCISES – This has been many students favorite portion of the course! We will review vital concepts for using each of The 5 Phases and you will play act very specific exercises with other students in our online break-out rooms. By the end of the course, all the fine points and nuances for resolving and avoiding conflict and creating harmony both in your personal and professional relationships will be second nature to you. You will have made many new friends and be an integral part of our 5 Phases Community.
INDIVIDUAL COACHING – During the class, Michael may individually coach you or others who need special help in handling a particular situation. This may be with a spouse, loved one, or in a business situation. (Michael’s normal rate for private coaching sessions ranges from $250 to $500 per session, so just one session with Michael during the course will pay for the entire course).
GUIDED MEDITATION – You and your fellow attendees will be guided through a 10 to 20 minute spontaneous meditation Michael will be leading. In this higher and more receptive state, the friction-free and flowing variations and fine points of each of The 5 Phases will be further embedded into your neurology. These will replace old dysfunctional behavior patterns with new ones that engender greater acceptance, joy and love with your spouse, family and friends. At the same time, these new patterns create expanding cooperation and teamwork with everyone in your professional life and business endeavors.
For years going forward, because the course is so applicable in making every one of your relationships so much more flowing and harmonious, you will find yourself going through the course again and again either in its entirety . . .
. . . using our simple index to choose very specific 1 to 5 minute lessons to help you handle particular situations in your personal or business-related relationships.
Get started for just
You will receive immediate access to Module 1 consisting of:
50 brief lessons totaling 2½
Joining in on the first 1½ hour live weekly video conference with Michael!
In that live conference, Michael will lead you through:
Breathing and many other 5 Phases exercises
Practice sessions of essential techniques done in a breakout rooms with a partner.
A Guided Speaking Your Truth Meditation spontaneously channeled by Michael.
Q & A Session – You will be able to ask Michael any question you like about the techniques or about how best to handle any issue you may be having in a personal or business relationship.
Depending on which of the 3 packages you choose below, the remainder of your Masterclass investment will be automatically billed after 7 days and you will be instantly granted access to the other 9 modules.
During the first week, if you choose not to continue onto the entire Masterclass, simply click a conveniently located button and you will not be billed for a dime more!
3 Masterclass Options:
Live with Michael
Extended Study w/ Michael
Weekly group session
Weekly group sessions
Weekly group sessions
1 Bonus 1-on-1 coaching
session with Michael
(include this after they sign up)
Discount off of $685
What Is This Transformation
Really Worth To You?
The most important questions to ask yourself is, starting from Week 1 of the course onward –
How different will my relationships be with my significant other and closest loved ones if I can begin dissolving the tension, discord and conflict in those relationships?
How much more successful will I be if I can draw healthy boundaries while strengthening each of my relationships with my co-workers, employees, boss, teammates and/or business partners . . . rather than feeling like I am always on the verge of a disagreement or confrontation?
How many more goals will I be able to achieve after acquiring the skills to avoid conflict and lead others via The 5 Phases . . . . . . compared to if I let this opportunity slip by?
Looking forward to meeting you personally in the Masterclass!